This week was really good. I learned sooo much. For a while I´ve been thinking a lot about obedience and how obedient I have been up to this point on my mission. Right now I live in a house that obedience to mission rules is not top priority and it makes it hard. It´s really been frustrating me because it has caused me to slack on my obedience as well. But I decided that enough was enough. I want to be obedient. Right after I made that decision is when I started to see the Lord´s hand working in this aspect of my life. I thought of how I could be more obedient and immediately thought of a quote I heard in the CCM: When obedience ceases to be an irritant and begins to be a quest, that is when we start to see the miracles. And also: Obedience brings blessings. Exact Obedience brings miracles. Miracles are what we need as missionaries. This work is impossible without miracles everyday from the Lord. How can I be exactly obedient? That answer came in a Leadership conference by President Nuckols: Omni 1:26 Give ourselves entirely to the work of the Lord.
Yesterday we had our Christmas Conference. President Nuckols talked a lot about how the Savior is a Gift, to go along with the new movie the Church made for Christmas. He is the Gift. He talked about the Savior´s life and how the biggest gift we were given was the Atonement of Jesus Christ. The he asked us a very profound question. What is your gift to Him? It almost left me breathless. My first thought was ¨the Lord needs me to be Obedient.¨ He then went on to give us 3 suggestions of gifts we could give to the Lord. 1) 3 Nefi 9:20 A broke heart and a contrite spirit. 2) If ye love me, keep my commandments. 3) John 21:15-17 Feed my sheep. With this last one he called up and Elder and asked the name of one investigator and one less active that he was teaching. (Let´s say they were Juan, and Marta...) He then said to the Elder, ¨Elder, do you love the Savior?¨ ¨Yes.¨ ¨Will you feed Juan?¨ ¨Yes.¨ ¨Elder, do you love the Savior?¨ ¨Yes, Presidente.¨ ¨Will you feed Marta?¨ ¨Yes.¨ Ëlder, do you love the Savior?¨ ¨Yes.¨ ¨Will you feed your companion?¨... This last question hit me hard. I have had a hard time lately with my companion and haven´t treated her with so much kindness through this trial. But in that moment I was so overwhelmed with the spirit and love for her. I got a nice big spiritual slap in the face, but it was exactly what I needed. Part of my striving to be obedient is to love my companion, to pray for her, and to support her.
In our Zone meeting at the beginning of the week, we talked about the Law of Consecration. A question they wrote on the board was another answer to this desire to be obedient: What hurts more? Working hard, or surrendering? I knew what my answer was but it was confirmed in the Leadership Conference with a few scriptures: 1 Nefi 17:8-9 Where do I find the materials, not give me a boat. 1 Nefi 18:2-3 Work how the Lord wants you to, not how any man wants you to. 1 Nefi 17:51 (this one I have posted on my desk). These moments have been some of the most spiritual moments of my mission thus far. I´ve learned that growth isn´t easy, but it´s what we need.
I love my mission. I wouldn´t change any part of what I´ve experienced for anything in the world. I know this church is true with all that I am and have become. Thanks for all your love and support.
Love, Hermana Perry
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